The Clicking Point

Although I am only 25, I have spent many of my years yo-yo dieting and making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep. Like many other girls, I started disliking my body around the time I hit puberty and didn’t understand why my hips were starting to get bigger (in my mind, this was fat) or why other weird things seemed to be happening to my body.

When I was in high school, my yo-yo dieting began. I didn’t understand health in the least bit and my idea of a diet was to eat half a can of tuna for lunch and the smallest dinner possible. When I was a junior in high school, I actually did get pretty small (didn’t think I was at the time, only basing this opinion off of my adult mind looking back at pictures) but it didn’t last very long. I loved soda, Little Debbies, and fried foods and I saw nothing wrong with that. Even though I was a size 6 and less than 120 pounds when I finished high school, I still had the image of a fat girl in my mind.

In college, I actually did gain a lot of weight. By the time I got out of college and had taught for a few years, I was about 164 pounds and size 12 was tight on me (I’m 5’3”). Occasionally, I would decide I was going to go on a diet, throw away all my junk food, and buy a bunch of Lean Cuisines and 100-calorie snacks. It would usually last about a week. When I looked back at pictures of that unhappy high school girl, I wished I could be that size again and actually appreciate it.

I had gone to the gym in college sporadically (I’m talking maybe one-two times per year) but didn’t work out for a while when I graduated and started teaching. A little over a year and a half into teaching, a friend convinced me to join her gym and we started going a couple times a week. It tapered off when I saw no results though.

Each time I started a new diet or started going to the gym, I saw no immediate results and gave up. I am an immediate gratification type of person. I didn’t understand that it wasn’t dieting OR exercising, it was BOTH that would lead to weight-loss. It wasn’t just low-calorie or low fat that would lead to weight-loss; it was an overall healthy lifestyle.

Shortly before Christmas of 2013, things clicked. Not only was I not happy with the way my body looked, but I had no energy, I was out of breath walking up the stairs to my apartment, my poor dog was gaining weight because I was too lazy to walk her, and my stress levels were ridiculous. I knew I had to change—not just to “get skinny,” but because I was unhealthy and was no longer at an age where my body was resilient enough to just keep going normally without the right care. Yes, I was only 24 at the time… but that’s just it—I was only 24 and my body was feeling like it was in its forties!

When I started working out around Christmas, I started off a little too strong and ended up with some injuries (post about THAT journey coming soon), but I prevailed. I found workouts that I could do that wouldn’t affect my injuries, I started reading about macros, I increased my intake of fruits, vegetables, and protein, and decreased my intake of CRAP (soda, cakes, white breads, fast food, etc.). I have still had some ups and downs, but I did lose 20 pounds in 2014 thanks to my change in lifestyle!

What was the difference this time? Why was I able to see success this time, when I didn’t all of the previous times?

1. I realized that there is no overnight fix. It didn’t take a week to gain all of this weight and to create a bad body image—so it wasn’t going to take a week to fix it. I got out of the “diet” mindset and got into the “lifestyle change” mindset. I would not be starving myself for a few weeks, then begin eating normal CRAP again because I was suddenly skinny. I would never again have a diet full of crap, whether I got skinny or not.
   
2. I realized that, in order for me to be successful, I had to give in to my cravings every once in a while. If I told myself that I would never have a sweet or a cheeseburger again, I would give up like all of the previous times. In order for this to be a lifestyle change FOR LIFE, I had to understand that even healthy people have unhealthy food—they just don’t eat it all the time. Because of this, I allow myself one cheat meal a week. It’s enough for me to think about when I have a bad craving (“Don’t eat that… remember you get to have __________ on Saturday and that is soooo much better!”) but not enough to undo all of the work I have done that week. I am not striving to be perfect, I am striving to be healthier and SANE.
   
3. I realized that I wanted to take it slow. The problem with most diets is that you do lose weight, but you go back to eating what you were eating before and you gain it all (and usually more) back. I knew that, if I wanted to keep my weight off, I would have to eat in a way that was possible for me to keep up for the rest of my life. This means that my weight would not come off as fast—but this is the whole point in a “lifestyle change.” If it takes me forever to get to my goal weight but then I don’t yo-yo right back to my original weight, I am perfectly fine with it taking a while!
   
4. I realized I had to do it my way. If you read my About Me section, I mention how I was terrified in gym class growing up. If I had started this journey with an intense workout routine, I would have given up very quickly. I am able now, a year into my journey, to commit to something intense but it took me a little while to get here. I started by walking my dog 2-3 miles every few days (on a sprained ankle, mind you), going to the gym to use the elliptical and very light weights, and doing BodyFlow (Les Mills’ yoga/tai chi/pilates-kind of a less intense version of Piyo) classes at the gym. I also started trying to be more active in my daily lifestyle—I walked around my classroom a little more while I was teaching, I parked a little further from the store, and I started taking my dog to different places to explore with her.
   
5. I surrounded myself with motivation. I am an instagram addict, so I started following a lot of people who were on the same journey as I was. It’s hard to eat a piece of cake as your scrolling through pictures of nothing but people working out and eating salads, right? I subscribe to Fitness and Women’s Health magazine—not because they have particularly great articles… but because it’s also hard to eat a piece of cake as you’re reading “How to Get the Best Abs.” See what I mean? I also created a motivation board, where I mark out each pound I lose. On the board are pictures of ME at a time where I should have thought I was a great size, other women with healthy bodies, and inspirational quotes. I see it every time I open my closet, and it is a constant reminder of the work I am doing and what I have to look forward to!

As I say in my About Me section, I am definitely no expert on weight loss or healthy lifestyles. I still have some bad habits to get rid of, but I am taking it slow! You may read this and think “This girl started when she weighed 164 pounds and thought she was big.. I wish I could be 164 pounds!” It’s not always about your starting weight, it’s about how you feel. I was UNHEALTHY. My body was full of nothing but soda, sweets, and fast food and it had to stop. I was also completely sedentary. Don’t let your starting weight being different than mine think that you can’t do it—you can!

If you’re having trouble getting motivated or are motivated but don’t know where to start, PLEASE feel free to contact me! Below you will find a contact form that you can fill out to contact me!